I was chatting with a friend on Skype the other day and when I wrote that I had to get back to work, I got the following texts:

Kind of funny!

This was a summer of traveling and spending time with family and friends, but it was also a summer of searching. Strangely enough, I have for the past two years or so felt less and less engaged and interested in different things. It is like I haven’t been able to look forward to things the way I used to, or take on new tasks with the same passion as before. Like life has become routine and I have had little interest in committing to new causes and in finding new goals. I remember coming back from winter holiday a year and a half ago, filled with energy and new ideas. But then things happened in my life which made everything else seem so immensely unimportant, and despite sincere efforts, I have been unable to feel really passionate about anything. There are a few exceptions of course. The Master’s program that I am doing has for the most part really interested me. As have my singing and my dance classes. But my work, or rather the issues that I work with, which used to be my passion, has captured less and less of my commitment. As has other things that used to truly excite me, such as traveling and acquiring new knowledge. It is like my curiosity, which always used to drive me, has been slipping along with my passion for justice and a better world. It’s a terrible thought and it has scared me immensely! Fadi Quran, who presently leads a nonviolent Palestinian organization, said to Time Magazine a while back, in response to the prospect of armed response to nonviolent demonstrations that “I only hope we’re not too well educated to be courageous!” It made me think that perhaps that is what has taken aways my passion and commitment, as with that of so many people around me who used to talk about changing the world and living life just and with passion. Or is this just inevitable as we grow older?

As you probably understand, the prospect of loosing curiosity and passion has been a great concern for me. Except for kindness and humaneness, I believe that curiosity is probably the most important quality in a person. Without that, life stagnates and people become ignorant and self-absorbed. Hence, I took the summer to discuss this with people around me to see if this has happened to others too, and while in Sweden, Jonas and I decided to do a little survey among our acquaintances and see how they feel about their work and their interests. Sadly enough, we realized that few feel that engaged in what they work with. Instead, routine seems have taken over and for eight hours a day, people execute tasks without really feeling that engaged in what they do or in the sector that they are a part of. And even worse, a few confirmed this feeling of fatigue in taking a stand and trying to convince others of their believes in how to make this world a better place. However, with the input from the people we talked to, and as the summer evolved, Jonas and I came to a few conclusions:

Surrounding ourselves with close friends and people that give energy and encourage creative thinking and new goals, and that make us discover new things is vital. It is easy to spend too much time with people that neither inspire nor support, and with whom the conversation leads nowhere, and that doesn’t help. To be engaged and committed, and to look forward to new things, it is also important to be well-rested and to take breaks from these commitments. No-one can can sprint through a marathon! So after a few weeks of vacation, a change in environments, and spending lots and lots of time with people that stimulate my thinking in other fields than just that related to my work, I already have more energy and feel ready to take on new tasks with passion, and a renewed motivation to work for a better world. Quite a relief!

Spending lots of time discussing life with friends at cafes around Stockholm, and some time in the water certainly helped bringing energy and motivation back!

After a few days in Stockholm, I am now at my family’s summer house on the island Blidö in the Stockholm archipelago. For you who are not so familiar with Sweden, it might be interesting to know that it is very common to own a summer house somewhere out in a rural area and preferably by the sea or a lake. These “houses” are more often small cottages, either remains from a time when Sweden was an agrarian/fishing society, or built in the 30s and 40s as small summer get-aways for workers and their families. Some of them are without electricity and not rarely, water is collected from a well or a tap outside the house. Instead, they are surrounded by wilderness and the sea, which makes us feel like we have everything we could possibly need, even though we lack many of the usual comforts of modern life. And just to clarify, after four months in a mountain village in rural Guatemala, I am not romanticizing this kind of simple life. I know that it is hard and that there is little dignity in living in such conditions when ensuring a sufficient income is a daily struggle. But for a few weeks per year, I do appreciate having a place like this, in sharp contrast to urban America, to get away to!

It is 11:15 am on Sunday morning and I have already been up for several hours. I am part of a Swedish singing group here in DC and we performed during the Sunday mass in Augustana Lutheran Church. The church is just a few blocks up the street from me and the Swedish assembly uses it for their activities. As always, I got a little irritated about some of the things the pastor said and was confused about other things that went on, but we sang traditional Swedish spring songs and folk music, which was very nice. They also served coffee and Swedish smörgåstårta after the mass that I of course stayed for. So with the singing and coffee, I don’t think I could have had a better start of the day!

We are “Svenska sånggruppen”, or “The Swedish Song Group” on the program 

Monday was my birthday. I have now reached the respectable age of 37! It is difficult to believe, especially given my somewhat unsettled life. No adult points there…. I have however done a lot more than most, so I guess that weights up for it though I don’t think one can substitute the other. My circle of friends is quite small here so I didn’t expect to be celebrated to the same extent that I used to be in Moldova (where birthdays are immensely important). But thanks to modern technology, I did get at least three dussins of birthday greetings from various places, from Juba to New York, Stockholm, London, and Chisinau, and other places in between. Maria did something super sweet and posted the Happy Birthday song to me on her blog! Very nice – many thanks to everyone!! Also, my colleague brought me a lovely pastry, and in the evening, I had a lovely dinner with Mr. M at my favorite place Kramerbooks & Arfterwords.

Tonight, I am having some friends over, not just to celebrate my birthday but also to celebrate spring. It is so nice that May is almost here!

This amazing desert is called Death by Chocolate! Needless to say, we shared it….

Happy Easter everyone!!! Mr. M asked me if I had found Jesus when I popped by his office with some Easter candy the other day, but I haven’t of course. In Sweden, Easter is more of a spring festivity: we clean out winter of our houses and bring in spring. A few weeks before easter, we put birch branches in a vase and decorate them with feathers and colorful eggs, and let the leaves break out in green. We bring in flowers and add small details in yellow and other pastel colors to our homes. It is really a lovely time of the year and as you who follow this blog know, I think it is important to celebrate these seasonal holidays. They are milestones over the year that otherwise risks passing too quickly in our often so hectic lives. So I invited Monika, Willie, and Patrick over for Easter lunch. Monika and Willie brought salmon and herring and I made lamb roast for the first time in my life.  It was very nice and the lunch lasted until 10:30 pm. I ate way too much candy of course, but that is probably also part of the tradition….

The Easter witches on one of the pictures is part of a Swedish tradition that I am not sure where it comes from. On the Thursday before Easter, the witches are supposed to fly away to their festivities with the devil. That day, kids dress up like small witches in scarves and aprons and with a coffee pot, and go around the houses, giving away Easter greeting cards that they have made, and getting sweets in return.