A Swedish girl that I sing with gave me a ride to the choir the other day, and during the drive, we talked about what we had done before ending up in DC. Since my story involves clear goals and a lot of moving around, she asked me what I wanted to do next. I didn’t have an answer.
I then chatted with a friend of mine who has been posted in South Sudan for quite some time. He asked me how things were going in DC, and I had to admit that things here were exactly the same as when he left little over a year ago. NOTHING has changed! While I’ve been painfully aware of this for quite some time, my life felt all of a sudden immensely dull.
The problem is that even though I haven’t settled as well in Washington as I did in the other places where I’ve lived, I am also not sure where I would go. For the first time in my life, I don’t have clear plan for the next couple of years. Or rather, the plan that I thought I had proved to be completely beyond my control. Still, I want to give certain things here another chance before giving up on normal and stable. I also really enjoy my job and am very happy about my studies that are progressing exactly in the direction that I want. At the same time, I know that life can be so much more interesting and inspiring. Is this what happens when we get older? We let comfort take over? Did I grow out of my adventurousness? Or do I just feel more at home here than I think? Right now, it seems like my indecisiveness about what to do next means that I am staying here a while longer.
At the Sculpture Garden Café, one of my favorite spots in DC!